We've lost close to a quarter of a million jobs in the past three months. Couples and families financial priorities are shifting. But before tackling any financial concerns, we must first figure out how to get on the same page as our partners, and that means having the often-dreaded conversation about money. We're talking about getting real and being honest.

And the fact is that money is a loaded topic. Finance-related conversations often end in tears and tantrums, so it's not surprising that a recent State Farm survey revealed more than two in five people (41%) find going to the dentist less excruciating than talking to their spouses about money.

Clinical counselor Donna Vidas suggests that when you decide to have a financial discussion with your partner you should keep his or her triggers in mind. In other words, you don't want to step on your sweetheart's landmine. Rather, try to appreciate what might touch a nerve in terms of bad past experiences; because the majority of our deep-rooted values attached to money stem from childhood.

But before even launching into what could be a potentially heated discussion on how you and your partner save, spend and invest, pause a moment to daydream & it's actually one of the most effective things you can do as a couple. Ask yourself what's really important, how would you like your home life to look, where would you like to travel, when do you want to retire, how much do you need in the bank to feel secure? It's a lot easier to work together and stay the course when you're excited about the kind of life you want to live. During this time it's important to set aside your current financial picture for a minute to brainstorm what your ideal picture will look like.

Dreaming (and making those dreams come true) goes hand-in-hand with having a realistic plan. Creating a spending plan together is the launch pad. This process will require you to be brutally honest with each other. You don't want to micromanage your partner but maybe after admitting out loud your tendency to spend $20 a day on snacks and coffee, you can decide together you'd rather put that money toward sipping cerveza on the beach at the end of the year.

The next step is to figure out what's coming in (your combined take-home pay) and what's going out (all of your shared expenses). If combined expenses are 50 per cent of combined take-home pay, you should each contribute half of your individual take-home pay to a joint account. It's fair to contribute equal percentages of your pay rather than equal amounts.

While many would argue dating your financial opposite is a nightmare, we disagree. It's ideal, if you work it right and play to each other's strengths. Part of mapping out your money plan should include designating who will be responsible for what. For example, one of you is likely to be better at the day-to-day management of household expenses. It's OK to designate this person as the bill payer, but the other should still be involved and know what needs to be done and how to do it. Once you have your system in place, reconnect once a month to make sure you're both still on track.

Finally, determine what a reasonable amount is for each of you to be able to spend guilt-free every week or month, and take it old school by moving to a cash system. If you set $100 as your amount for the week, withdraw the cash at the beginning of the week, and when it runs out, there's no resorting to credit.

Also, pre-set a maximum spending amount for larger purchases - if either of you wants to spend more than that, agree to run it by your partner first. Our friends Joe and Tara call this “the eyebrow test.”

“As soon as she raises her eyebrows, I know it's a no go,” says Joe. Tara's quick to point out though that if he absolutely loves something, they'll work it out & within certain parameters, but she makes it a point to weigh pros and cons.

“When he comes home trying to sell me on a $400 bonsai tree, I remind him that we need a crib and a stroller and a change table,” says the soon-to-be mom.

Point made. A $400 bonsai wouldn't pass my eyebrow test, either.