Smart Cookies

Some good news Smart Cookies! Our second book, The Smart Cookie’s Guide to Couples and Money is out today. Look for it on Amazon.

Talking about money isn’t exactly the sexiest thing in world, but if you’ve been dating someone for a few months and have a feeling that its time to bring it up, let us offer a couple of suggestions to turn a potentially awkward conversation into something less cringe worthy.

Let’s set the scene: You’ve been dating someone for a few months and you think you might be in a relationship that has the potential to go somewhere. How are you supposed to bring up the conversation about money? Consider this as your guide.

1. Casual is Best Understand that there is no need to have a formal sit down and review of anyone’s complete financial picture at this point. The best time is when the conversation come up naturally like when you’ve just noticed a book on debt ( you can even be sneaky and plant your Smart Cookies Book, out somewhere where he’ll see it, or if you watch a commercial talking about debt or credit.

2. Bring Up the D Word If there is one way to quickly suss out if this is match made in financial heaven, or a disaster waiting to happen, bring up the D word …debt.

3. Conversation Starters When you feel its a good time, bring up the topic of debt with the focus on you first.

For example, œI can completely see how easy it would be to get into trouble with credit card debt. I know that I had a balance for a little bit, but worked to pay it off. Do you carry a balance on your credit cards?

Or

“It seems almost impossible to come out of college with out any debt, I know I’m still working to pay off my student loans. Did you have to take on any debt while you where in school

4. Stay In tune To Warning Signs

Warning Signs

œYeh, I figure that I’ll buy now and worry later, it will all work out

œI have no idea how much debt I’m in

Positive Responses

œI’m working on it, but do have some debt

œIt is hard, but I have a plan and automatically pay down my debts

5. Quick Assessment If you’re getting the vibe that the debt isn’t under control, then you may want to offer them help by offering a few tips, or a book they can read about on how to pay it off faster. If they are open to this, its GOOD NEWS. If they aren’t ,consider this a red flag. We know that financial opposites can work well as a couple, but both people need to at least be open to getting better and open to talking about money.

Bottom line, if you’re partner has debt its OK, but they should be open to telling you and taking your advice if it does seem out of control.